The Adventures of Chris and Stephanie
by TakerTakeMe
Summary: The adventures of Chris and Steph... They hate each other, they love each other, they screw around... Just the usual!
1. One Steamy Adventure

_**The usual... I own no one.**_

_**THAT NIGHT...**_

"Your dad is an assclown," Chris Jericho stated matter-of-factly.

"I agree," Stephanie McMahon replied. "For sticking me in a hotel room with the likes of _you_ for a night."

"I'm not exactly happy about this either, Princess," Chris pointed out. "We don't have the brightest of histories together."

"Just lots of arguing and unwanted kisses. I know," Steph said. She gave a dramatic, fake yawn. "I'm gonna go sit for a while in the hot tub. Feel free _not_ to join me."

"I'll be there in a few," he said. She rolled her eyes and he watched her walk out of the room. How he hated her but still managed to admire her body, he neither knew or cared.

She felt his eyes watching her and smiled to herself. She knew he wanted her, which was why she teased him so. She'd never give in to him. _Ever_...

Less than 10 minutes later, Steph was soaking comfortably in the hot tub with her eyes closed when Chris cleared his throat. She opened her eyes slowly and took in a vision of Chris with a towel thrown loosely around his waist.

"_Please_ tell me you have on something underneath that towel," she said.

"Watch and learn," he said, turning his back to her. He dropped the towel and she was greeted with the sight of his butt. "How do you like my tattoo?" he asked, pointing at the tattoo on his left butt cheek.

"Come closer, I can't see it," she said. She was curious to know what it was. It looked like a word or phrase. _He's so cocky and full of himself, it probably says "Jericho is king" or some rubbish like that_, she thought. He backed up close enough for her to see it clearly and her arched eyebrows almost flew off her face. "You have _my name_ tattooed on your _ass_?" she exclaimed.

"Nice, isn't it?" he asked, snickering.

"Back up a little more so I can examine it better," she said.

"Oh, you just wanna get up close and personal with my butt," he said, backing up more. She looked at the tattoo. How _dare_ he get her _name_ tattooed on his ass, an obvious symbol of... She didn't finish the thought. Instead, she pinched him on his left butt cheek as hard as she could.

"Ah! How dare you!" he exclaimed, turning around to glare at her while rubbing the stinging place where she'd pinched him. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

She was speechless. She had nothing to say, for once in her life. Her eyes were wide with shock and awe. _Something_ was sticking out just inches from her face, hard and erect. It was so close to her mouth that she was practically _breathing _on it. If he had been just a little closer when he'd turned around, he probably would've accidentally slapped her in the face with it!

He looked down and noticed what she was staring at. "Oh, I see you're admiring me," he said. "Huge, isn't it?"

"It is a nice size," she admitted breathlessly. Then she turned away. "You need to put that thing up."

He threw his head back and laughed heartily. "And just where, Princess, do you suggest I put it?" he asked amidst his laughter.

"Anywhere, but not in my damn face," she said, suddenly frustrated. "I need a drink."

"Relax. I'll bring us both a drink," he said.

She leaned back in the hot tub and watched him walk out of the room and to the bar, still naked. He had a nice body. She'd known that before. But now that she'd seen what else he had... Let's just say her body was reacting in ways that she had vowed they would never act when she was with him in particular!

He came back with a little swagger in his step, and she quickly looked the other way. "Here ya go," he said, handing her a glass. She gratefully accepted it. After handing her the glass, he sat down in the hot tub across from her and took a sip from his glass, eyes locked on her.

"What are you looking at?" she finally asked.

"You," he said, taking another sip from his glass. "Is that a crime?"

"It should be, you pervert," she said, taking a sip of her drink. "I mean, it's ok to look at someone, but if you're gonna get all horny and hard when you look at me..."

"Don't give yourself so much credit, Princess," he said, giving her a crooked smile. "I mean, I _do_ have a wife. How do you know I wasn't thinking of her?"

"Because I know everything," she said, forcing herself not to think about that glorious part of his body she'd recently been face to face with. She shook her head to try to clear away the thoughts. "I need another drink. Hell, I might just drink the whole bottle." She got up to go grab the bottle.

"I want some more, too," he said. "Mind sharing?"

"Actually, yes," she said, walking out of the room. "But seeing as you were so nice earlier and brought me some, I'll return the favor."

"That's what I thought," he said a few minutes and a lot of drinks later. "You can't resist obeying me."

"Obeying you? That's a laugh!" she said, hiccupping. "You could never get me to obey you or do anything you say."

"Damn, that sounds like a challenge," he said. "Is it?"

"Perhaps," she said, smirking. "Think you're up to it?"

"I _never_ fail to rise to the occasion," he stated.

"I noticed that earlier," she joked, looking pointedly down at a point in the swirling waters of the hot tub where she thought _it_ might be.

"You're so evil," he said, quickly swallowing every drop of what was in his glass and putting it down. He came over to her, covering her body with his and leaning down to kiss her. "Maybe that's what I like so much about you..."

She was surprised as hell. It happened so fast! First they were basically getting on each other's nerves, as usual, and the next thing she knew, he was kissing her with such a fiery passion that it had all her nerves tingling. She kissed him back, tangling her fingers in his hair as he moved down to kiss her neck right under her jaw line.

"You're so tasty," he whispered, licking her neck. "I wonder what other sweet spots you're hiding under this little bikini you're wearing?"

"Why don't you take it off and find out?" she suggested.

"I think I will," he said with a devilish smile...

_**THE NEXT MORNING...**_

When Stephanie woke up, the sheets on the bed were tangled up and Chris had his arm thrown around her. Her hair and his were both a mess, and she felt... She felt strangely satisfied. She wasn't as tense as she had been yesterday when she'd woken up. Suddenly, she noticed that they were both naked, and she felt sick. This could only mean one thing...

"Chris!" She shook him with strength she didn't even know she possessed. "Wake up!"

"What the hell?" he grumbled. "It's too early to wake up, baby. We only just got to sleep."

"Did we..." Her voice trailed off. She could hardly finish her question. "Did we have sex?"

"You don't remember?" he asked, still lying down with his eyes closed.

"No, you ass, or I wouldn't be asking all these questions!" she exclaimed, frustrated.

"Last night we had one steamy adventure. Started in the hot tub, went to the floor, and somehow we ended up in the bed," he said with a yawn.

She jumped up, alarmed. "So we really..."

"Yes," he said, eyes still closed since he was still asleep. "And you loved it."

"Oh my God! We had sex!" she shrieked shrilly.

Her words didn't register in his mind until a few seconds later when he realized exactly what had happened. This was Stephanie he was talking to here! He jumped up, suddenly alert, and tried to cover himself with a pillow. She jumped up and stood on the floor on the opposite side with the sheets pulled around her naked body.

They looked at each other, trying to read each other's expressions. They were obviously both embarrassed as hell but also both equally determined not to show it.

Finally, she broke the silence. "This never happened. We will _never_ speak of it again."

"Agreed," he said. "And your dad is still a major assclown."

"Absolutely," she agreed quickly.

They shared another look, reliving what had happened the night before. And then they both scurried off to bathrooms at opposite ends of the luxury suite...

_**AND THAT'S ALL, FOLKS! NO PART 2 FOR THIS, IT ENDS HERE.**_


	2. The Publix Adventure

_**The Publix Adventure**_

"I'm beginning to think your dad has it in for me," Chris said to Stephanie. It was a couple of weeks after their _steamy adventure_, and they were finally back to normal, normal meaning hating each other with a passion.

"You? No, I think he has it in for _me_," Steph said. "But why don't you, I don't know, shut up and keep pushing the grocery cart?"

"You don't rule me," he reminded her. "I'm my own man."

She looked at him. "That has to be the _corniest_ line I've ever heard you use, and that's pretty hard to pick out since most of your lines are generally corny."

"Screw you, Princess," he said, pushing the grocery cart down the aisle. "Screw. You."

_You already did. I can't believe you've waited this long for round two_, she thought, then shook her head. She was still trying to forget. It was a difficult task since her dad kept pairing her up with him to run errands and share locker rooms and whatnot but still she was willing to give it a valiant effort. Like today for instance, her dad just had to send the two of them to Publix for some last minute shopping for the barbecue he was throwing tomorrow. Like a servant couldn't have picked up the groceries instead...

"Did you hear what I said?" Chris asked, looking at her as he kept pushing the grocery cart down the aisle.

"What? You think I'm deaf?" she asked, trying to erase the thoughts she was having about him.

"Nah. I think you're just dumb," he replied, and she punched him in the arm. "Hey, if you wanna wrestle me, save it for the ring!" _Or the bed_, he added mentally, because no matter how much he tried to forget, he still remembered that night that they had shared a hotel room and gotten busy. Of course, the next morning had been pretty awkward, but now he rather liked the memory of what they had done. He felt kind of guilty because he really _was_ a married man, but...

"Chris! I _know _you saw that!" Steph exclaimed, shaking his arm. "Quit daydreaming and look what you just did!"

He shook his head and floated back down to reality. In front of him, a store employee was on the floor crying his eyes out and hugging boxes of cake mix, which were scattered all over the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Chris asked curiously. "And why are all these boxes on the floor? That's a hazard." He looked up to see what aisle they were on. Aisle 7. "Cleanup on aisle 7! Cleanup on aisle 7!"

"Chris! _You_ just ran the grocery cart into his cake display that he only _just_ finished putting up, you ass," Steph said. "And now you're all yelling for cleanup when it's your fault in the first place!"

"Whatever. Are you saying I just made this mess?" he asked.

"Yes, you klutz! Now clean it up!" she screeched.

"Actually, you're both going to have to clean this up," a manager who had just walked up said.

Steph's mouth dropped open. "Me? Clean? Ha! Do you know who I am?"

"All too well. The Billion Dollar Princess. The Two Dollar Whore. You have interchangeable nicknames, huh?"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Chris exclaimed, already getting angry. "She's not a whore!"

"But you gave her that whole Two Dollar Whore nickname in the first place," the manager said.

"Oh yeah," Chris said, stumped as he looked for a way to defend her. He quickly said the first thing that came to his mind. "But that's _my_ nickname for her. Therefore, you don't have permission from me to call her that."

"Whatever," the manager said, looking at his watch. "You two have to fix these boxes of cake mix back up the way my employee had just finished setting them up. We close at 11 P.M. and that's in 10 minutes, so make it snappy." He gave them a smile and then walked away. The employee who had been crying followed him closely.

"Now look what you've gotten us into," Steph said. "And what was the whole deal with the nickname argument?"

"Huh?" Chris asked, pretending like he didn't know what she was talking about. He started picking up the boxes.

"The whore thing," she said impatiently, beginning to pick up boxes as well.

"Oh _that_," he said. "That was nothing. Forget about it." He reached for another box.

"Why should I?" she asked.

She was looking at him as she reached for a box and just happened to grab the same one that he had grabbed. Her hand touched his softly and he looked up. Their eyes met.

"About the whore thing... You defended me. Why?" she asked.

"Just because I know you're not one. A whore, I mean," he answered.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever done for me," she said in a low voice. "And I really appreciate it."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," he said, noticing that she still had her hand on his.

She gave a small laugh and started trailing her finger up and down his arm. "Chris, Chris, Chris... Whatever am I going to do with you?"

"You could stop distracting me so I could finish fixing this display," he suggested, catching her hand in his and pulling her close to him. "Or you could stop talking and kiss me. Either one would be great."

They stared into each other's eyes for a few quiet minutes. He didn't know why he'd suggested the second option and she didn't know why she was considering it.

"Option two sounds much better," she decided finally. She didn't know what the hell she was doing this for, but she slowly leaned in to kiss him...

And as soon as their lips touched, that's when every single light in Publix went out.

"What just happened?" Chris asked, his lips pressed against hers.

"Unless the people here at Publix neglected to pay their electricity bill, I think the store is closed," Steph replied. "Now quit talking and kiss me..."

"Ok," he agreed, and he kissed her.

It only took a few short moments for Stephanie's words to sink in. They both realized it at the same time. They broke apart and tried to look at each other in the dark.

"Just our luck," was all she said.

"Yep. Looks like we're locked in Publix for the night," he said indifferently.

"Since it's pitch black in here, what do you say we go and find a light?" she suggested in a shaky voice.

"Don't tell me you're still scared of the dark," he said, narrowing his eyes even though he knew she couldn't see the expression on his face.

"Duh, ok! Now let's just find a damn light!" she exclaimed, standing up and gripping his hand tightly. "And you better not let my hand go, or I will be highly pissed."

"What if I have to scratch something that itches?" he asked.

"Then I'll just have to scratch it for you," she replied.

"What if my nuts were itching? Would you scratch them for me?" he asked as they started walking.

"You can scratch your own nuts if they itch. Just not with the hand you're using to hold my hand," she said.

"Oh come on, you know you'd like to scratch them," he joked.

"You're an ass," she said, elbowing him hard in the side.

He doubled over to rub his side where she had elbowed him and tripped over some of the boxes. Since his profession demanded that he have good instincts, he broke his fall as he fell onto his back, managing not to hit his head on the hard floor. Since they had been holding hands, she fell down too, coincidentally right on top of him. She laid on top of him and lifted her face up a little try to look down into his eyes. Her long hair fell down on all sides of his face.

"I don't think we're meant to make it to the light right now," he said to her. "Because for some reason we keep ending up like this with our lips just inches away from each other's..."

"Maybe we can find the lights in a little while..." Her voice trailed off as she kissed him.

"Right. For now, let's _lose_ our clothes," he suggested, and then they both quickly started to undress each other...

They never did find the switch to turn on the lights that night...

But the next morning it was bright as hell when they woke up. They woke up naked in the middle of aisle 7. He was sleeping behind her, typical spoon fashion, on the floor when she opened her eyes and noticed that they weren't in a hotel room somewhere. Instead, they were on the floor surrounded by the boxes of cake mix he had knocked over the night before.

"Chris," she whispered, trying to get up, but he had his arm around her and he kept pulling her back closer.

"Don't leave me, Stephanie," he murmured in his sleep. "I'll die without you."

She kept trying to wriggle her way out of his grasp, but she only succeeded in arousing them both.

His eyes popped open. "Oh man, you got me waking up with the morning wood," he exclaimed, letting her go so he could cover up.

"Hard as mahogany," she said breathlessly, trying to catch a peek at his "morning wood" and get dressed at the same time. "But we gotta get dressed and get this mess cleaned up."

They dressed quickly, then recreated the display of cake mix boxes in the middle of the aisle.

"Looks good," he said, standing back to admire their work. "And now for the final touch..." He added something on top but she was too busy looking at his muscular body to notice what it was that he had put up there.

"It needed a woman's touch," she joked, squeezing his arm.

"_I_ need a woman's touch," he said pointedly, moving to stand behind her.

She leaned back against him and wiggled her hips. "Yep," she said after a minute. "You could _definitely_ use a woman's touch. Now the question is, who's gonna want to touch _you_?"

"You will," he said, pulling her back against him when she tried to run away. "No other woman will do."

Just then, the lights started flickering on one by one. They looked at each other. After making an unspoken decision, they both ran for the bathroom in the back of the store as the lights flickered on above them.

"You're in the women's bathroom. You know that, right?" she asked him about a minute later.

"I know perfectly well. Woody here needs a little attention and I know we just bought some time," he said, pulling her into the first stall he came to and locking the door. He sat down on the closed toilet. "What do you say we fix this little problem of mine?"

She shrugged as he pulled her onto his lap. "Why not?"

About an hour later, they made themselves look presentable and walked out of the bathroom together. The store was full of early morning shoppers. As they walked past aisle 7 on their way to the nearest exit, they noticed a crowd of people standing around the cake mix display.

"What are they looking at?" she asked curiously.

"I'm sure it's nothing. They're just admiring our handiwork," he said, grabbing her arm and trying to pull her away.

She looked at him suspiciously. "You're acting _very_ weird, Chris... I'm going over to take a look."

"You really shouldn't," he said.

"And why is that?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Because... For-the-finishing-touch-I-put-your-thong-on-top-of-the-display," he said in a low, rushed voice.

"You did WHAT?" she exclaimed loudly.

"I said for the finishing touch I put your thong on top of the display," he repeated, only this time in a clearer and louder voice.

She gave him a LOOK, then stalked over to the crowd of people around the display. "Excuse me, princess coming through. Pardon me, excuse me..." She made her way to the middle of the crowd where the display was as Chris watched from behind with an amused look on his face. She stood on her tippy toes and grabbed her thong off the top. "I believe this is mine." Then she made her way back through the crowd, twirling her thong around on her finger and whistling as they all watched her. When she got back to Chris, she smiled sweetly at him. "I hope you enjoyed last night and this morning, because it will never, _eeeeever_ happen AGAIN!" Then she turned her head and walked out of Publix.

He watched her walk away and smiled. He knew it would happen again. She couldn't resist him and he couldn't resist her no matter how hard they tried. His head filled with vivid images of their wild encounters and he smiled as he walked out of Publix and followed her to the car...

After people found out that it was Stephanie McMahon's thong on top of the cake mix display, they all started grabbing boxes and putting them in their grocery carts. By 10 A.M. that same morning, Publix no longer had any boxes of cake mix in stock...

**Yeah, I said I wouldn't add any chapters... But why not? So if I get any more ideas, I'll add more chapters:-)**


	3. Roadside Adventure

_**Roadside Adventure**_

"Your father gets off on torturing me," Chris said, driving the rental car down a deserted road. Trees lined both sides of the road.

"Shut up. I'm the one who's being tortured," Steph said. "Now can you _please_ turn this crap down?" She looked pointedly at the radio.

He grinned and turned it up instead of down. "This is _Fozzy_, babe. It's _hot_!" He joined in with the song. "L-O-V-E... All I need's my _love_ machine!"

She rolled her eyes and turned to the next CD. "Y'all bitch crews...don't wanna fuck with us!" John Cena's voice filled the car and she smiled and nodded her head in time with the music.

"You're so evil," he muttered before turning the radio off.

"You're just noticing that? I'm the devil, only _much_ sexier," she said, smirking.

"And that just earned you one point," he said. "Keep going all the way to ten and I'm gonna pull over and give you what you've been asking for all day."

"Promise?" she joked with an innocent look on her face.

"Try me," he said. He looked at her and smiled that trademark smile. She practically melted in her seat. "By the way, you now have two points."

"How do I get more?" she asked sweetly. She made sure he was watching as she slowly ran her tongue over her lips.

"Keep testing me and you'll find out," he said, gripping the steering wheel tightly and trying his hardest to keep his eyes on the road. Why did Vince McMahon find the need to torture him this way by making him and Steph drive _together_ to the next city?

"Hey, you loser, did you _not_ hear what I said or are you ignoring me on purpose?" she asked, shaking his leg to get his attention.

He looked down at her hand on his thigh. "Wow, Princess, if you want to touch me then feel free."

"Now is not the time," she snapped. "The freakin' car is smoking and all you can think about is me touching you."

"You should be flattered," he said, smiling and humming a song. Then he realized what she'd just said. "Wait, wait, the car is smoking?" he asked, looking at her.

"Duh, Chris, look out the window," she told him.

He looked out the window. "You're right, but you get another point for being mean."

"Chris, I'm a _bitch_. It's my job to be mean," she said honestly.

"Another point for calling yourself a bitch," he said as he pulled the car over to the side of the road. "That's four points already. You're just racking them up, aren't ya?"

"Shut up and just find out what's wrong with the car," she snapped at him. "It's gonna get dark outside."

"Two more points," he said softly, opening the car door and beginning to get out.

"What for?" she asked curiously, watching him as he was getting out of the car.

"One for telling me to shut up and one for pointing out the obvious," he stated. He sat back in the car and leaned over to touch her face softly. "Four more points and you're mine."

"I don't think so," she said, not bothering to move his hand. "Maybe in your dreams."

"My dreams have a way of coming true often," he whispered. He leaned close until his lips were mere inches away. "And you just earned yourself an extra point." He brushed his lips over hers and then hopped out the car so he could see what the problem was.

"So what's the verdict?" she asked him a few minutes later when he joined her in the car.

"I can't figure out what's wrong," he complained. "I'm not an auto _expert_ but I can usually figure out the problem."

"Perhaps you've taken one too many blows to the head," she said with a knowing smile.

"You have _no_ idea, and I'm not even talking about steel chair shots from work," he said. She raised her eyebrows, then gave him a light shove. "You've earned another point. Two more points, Stephanie. Two more points..."

"And _your_ point is?" she asked, knowing this would get her another point. She was obsessed with finding out exactly what would happen to her when she'd accumulated ten points.

"Another point for being sassy. Are you curious about your fate yet?" he asked, studying her. "Don't you want to know what I'm going to do to your body?"

"Well, now if you'd like to enlighten me then that would be great," she said, carefully trying to conceal her excitement and curiosity.

"Well first, I'm gonna touch your hair like this..." He reached over and started stroking her hair. "Then I'm going to caress your face like this..." He softly touched her face, gently with his rough hands.

"What then?" she asked, loving how his hands were touching her face.

He put on a serious face. "Then I'm going to kiss you, like this..." He leaned over and kissed her softly... "And then I'll let my hands travel to wherever they want to go," he said as his hands did exactly that.

"And after that?" she asked a little breathlessly.

"After that? Well, you'll just have to find that out when you get that last point," he said, smiling a crooked smile at the look on her face when he stopped touching her. "What?" he asked. "Something wrong?"

She couldn't believe he'd stopped just like that! But if he could play games then so could she! She smiled warmly at him. "Oh, nothing's wrong, Chris. I was just a little surprised when you stopped," she said in a calm voice.

"Earn that last point and I'll keep going," he said in a low voice.

She sat back in her seat. "How about we listen to a little bit of your music? Do you have that one song you did...uh...'Don't You Wish You Were Me'?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, I have it," he said, wondering what was up with her.

"Can you turn it on for me, sweetie?" she asked sweetly.

"Sure," he said. He sat in total confusion as his voice filled the car and Stephanie smiled.

"I just love this song!" she gushed. "You're totally right, all the guys envy you because you're king."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Instead of answering him, she pulled her hair out of her ponytail and let it fall straight down, framing her face. "Hey Chris," she said, turning to look at him while twisting a few strands of her hair around her finger.

"Yeah?" he asked.

'It's getting kind of...hot...in here. Do you mind if I take my shirt off?" she asked, looking at him with innocent eyes.

"Go ahead if you want," he croaked. He watched her take off her shirt to reveal a lacy black bra.

"Ooh, this feels _much_ better," she sighed. She saw the hungry look on his face and decided to see if she could push him just a little further to his point of destruction. "I think I'll get in the backseat. More room back there, ya know?" she asked with a wink.

He watched silently as she slowly climbed over the seat, pausing for a minute to give him a view of her butt in her short skirt. Then she leaned back comfortably in the backseat and closed her eyes. "This is awesome..."

He was over the seat and on top of her in an instant. "You're mine now," he whispered.

"Now wait a second. I only have nine points," she teased. "I thought I needed ten points."

"Damn it," he cursed, trying to think of a loophole. Then he smiled. "You get _eleven_ points added to your nine," he said, "just for teasing me almost to the brink of insanity!"

"Really... Well you explained how you'd start when I had ten points, but twenty? How's that gonna go?" she wondered.

He chuckled. "It's gonna be twice as hot as I'd planned it," he warned her. "And it's all your fault."

"Shut up and kiss me..."

"You just earned yourself another point..."

"Screw the points," she said shortly as he kissed her neck.

"I'd much rather screw _you_," he breathed into her ear.

"Then _do it_!" she exclaimed.

He laughed. "Your wish is my command..."

A few hours later they were back on the road again. There seemed to be no problems with their rental.

"Luckily these windows are tinted," Chris was saying.

"Yeah, because I know you'd be _so_ embarrassed to be seen with _me_," Steph said sadly.

"What? Are you kidding me, Stephanie?" he asked. "You're a sweet woman. I love...hanging out with you."

"Really?" she asked, looking at him.

"God, woman, what's _wrong_ with you?" he asked, hitting the steering wheel. "You drive me mad!"

She laughed. "The feeling is mutual. Sometimes I can't tell whether I should hate you or love you."

The car slammed on brakes. "Love me!" he screeched, looking at her with confusion in his eyes. "Explain."

"We have the whole love/hate relationship going on, right?" she asked, looking at him. "I mean, one minute we're arguing with each other..."

"And the next minute," he said, reaching over to rub her arm until her skin tingled... "The next minute we're all over each other."

"Weird."

"Crazy."

They looked at each other...

"Let's pull over," she suggested, and he was quick to comply...

As the sun rose in the early morning sky, Stephanie snuggled closer up to Chris, enjoying the warmth of his muscular body in the back seat.

"My dad's the biggest assclown I've ever known," she whispered to him, her head pressed against his chest so she could listen to his heart beating.

"I agree," he whispered back, pulling her closer to him.

"Well, the biggest assclown besides you," she corrected herself, tracing his muscles with a finger.

"If I had enough strength, Steph, you'd be on your back right now," he said in a voice that made her shiver.

"Looks like I've worn you out," she said, grabbing his hand.

He squeezed her hand and laughed. "You just earned yourself another point..."


	4. Counseling And Therapy

_**Counseling And Therapy**_

"Mr. Irvine. Welcome," the old woman said with a smile. She peered up at him, her huge eyes magnified by the amazing thickness of her glasses. She held out her hand to shake his.

"Thanks for having me," Chris replied, a little apprehensive about shaking her hand, simply because she looked really frail. He held his hand out and gently shook hers, fearing that he might hurt her.

She had a surprisingly strong grip. When she finally let his hand go, his whole _arm_ was throbbing with pain.

"Have a seat, Chris," the woman said. "My name is Dr. Shuman."

"You're not the president of the official Fozzy fan club are you?" he asked, a bit disappointed.

"No. I'm a psychiatrist. You're here by request of Vince McMahon," Dr. Shuman said. "He believes that you need counseling and therapy."

"That's for me to decide. I'm outta here," he said angrily.

"Mr. Irvine, you really should take a seat," she said calmly.

"I'm leaving," he said.

"No. You're. NOT!" Her gray hair stood straight up on her head. She licked her tongue at him as her head slowly turned around grotesquely on her neck in slow circles. "SIT!"

"Y-yes ma'am," he said, scurrying over to the couch.

"That's better, dear," she said in her soft voice. "Now we'll begin as soon as my next patient arrives..." There was a timid knock on the door. "And there she is."

"_She_? Oh no, this better not be..." His voice trailed off as she opened the door.

"Stephanie, welcome back," Dr. Shuman said.

"Hi, Dr. Shuman. I have _so_ much to tell you about..." Steph's voice trailed off as she looked over at the couch. "_Chris_?"

"Your dad... That assclown is ruining my _life_!" Chris exclaimed. "And what's this, a joint counseling and therapy session? I! DON'T! NEED! COUNSELING! OR! THER-"

"QUIET!" Dr. Shuman screamed at the top of her lungs. She looked at Steph. "Would you do us all a favor and go sit down next to Chris?" Steph nodded obediently. "See Chris, life would be so much easier if you were as agreeable as Stephanie."

Steph sat next to Chris and smiled smugly. "See? I'm _agreeable_."

Dr. Shuman shut the door, then bolted it, put chains on it, stuck locks on it and dragged something heavy in front of the door. She piled lots of books on top of the heavy object, then went and sat down at her desk.

"What the hell is going on?" Chris asked Stephanie nervously.

"This is her 'no way out' strategy," Steph said nonchalantly. "There's no way for you to run from your feelings and emotions, no matter what they may be..."

Chris and Steph looked at each other and were in each other's arms in seconds. It was impossible to tell which body parts belonged to who...

"Ahem," Dr. Shuman said quietly.

Chris pulled away from Steph licking his lips. Steph smiled at the doctor. "Sorry about that."

"We are here today to bring to the light the questionable emotions the two of you have for each other buried deep inside," Dr. Shuman said.

"_That_ was a mouthful," Steph commented.

"_I'll_ show you a mouthful," Chris said.

And then Steph was on her back on the plush couch with Chris on top, kissing her hungrily. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him closer...

Dr. Shuman sat at her desk. Her eyes blinked quickly behind her ultra-thick glasses and her lips twitched.

"Excuse me," she said in a quiet and prim voice.

Steph pulled Chris's Fozzy shirt off...

"Pardon me," Dr, Shuman said again in her quiet and prim voice.

Chris pushed Steph's skirt up...

"Chris? Steph?" Dr. Shuman said. This was her third and final attempt at being nice about breaking the two up.

Steph and Chris worked with his belt buckle...

"HEY, YOU TWO _ASSCLOWNS_! SEPARATE NOW OR FACE...MY...WRATH!" Dr. Shuman roared. The walls shook and a light fixture fell from the ceiling, breaking and shattering shards of glass everywhere.

Chris and Steph quickly broke apart, panting, and jumping to opposite ends of the couch. Steph had his shirt in her lap as she tried to fix her shirt back the way that it was supposed to be.

"Stay perfectly still," Dr. Shuman ordered. She pulled out a chainsaw, revved it up, and walked slowly towards them with a menacing look on her wrinkled face.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Chris exclaimed, jumping up.

"Sit down, BOY!" Dr. Shuman ordered. She walked over to the couch and cut the couch in half. Cutting the chainsaw off, she pushed the couch apart, making two different ones and successfully separating Chris and Steph. "There, that's better," she said, admiring her work.

_This old bitch is fucking crazy_, Chris thought.

_She's usually not so psychotic_, Steph thought.

_Could've fooled me_, he replied in his mind.

_Chris, get out of my mind! _Steph mentally ordered.

_That's not all I wanna be in_, he growled.

_You're so freaky_...

"I can hear your thoughts. I know you might think I'm fucking crazy," Dr. Shuman said, looking at Chris. "And you might think I'm a bit psychotic," she said, looking at Steph. "But what's obvious here is the connection the two of you have in every way."

"What are you talking about?" Steph asked.

"Must I beat both of you over the head with my chainsaw?" Dr. Shuman asked, exasperated. "Because that seems like the only way I'll make you both understand."

"Understand what?" Chris asked. "We're clueless here."

"Face the facts. The two of you love each other deeply," Dr. Shuman said.

Steph and Chris both gasped. Then they both furtively denied it.

"Me? Love her? You can't be serious!" Chris exclaimed.

"I agree. Dr. Shuman, there's no way I can love an _assclown_ like him," Steph said. "Besides he's...married."

"But if he wasn't?" Dr. Shuman questioned.

"If I wasn't, _she'd_ still be married," Chris said bitterly. "We'd never even have a chance."

"But if you had the chance?" Dr. Shuman asked, happy that they were finally making some progress.

"There is _no_ chance," both Chris and Steph said at the same time, then looked away in opposite directions.

Dr. Shuman walked over to the cabinet in the corner and pulled down two mugs. She filled the mugs with hot water and stirred in a variety of different ingredients. Then she carried them over to them. "Drink," she said simply.

"No way," Chris said.

"We don't know what's in there," Steph said.

"DRINK OR DIE!" Dr. Shuman yelled.

Steph and Chris each grabbed a hot mug and sipped their drinks.

"Faster!" Dr. Shuman ordered, and they drained their mugs of the hot liquid.

Chris handed the doctor his empty mug with a serene look on his face. Steph did the same. Then Steph and Chris glanced shyly at each other and smiled.

Dr. Shuman thought her confession potion had worked. Now was the time to test it.

"Chris, how do you feel about Stephanie?" Dr. Shuman asked.

"I LOVE HER!" Chris exclaimed, falling to the floor on his knees and yelling his declaration of love to Steph up to the heavens. Tears streamed down his face. "I worship her! I love everything about her!"

Perhaps she had brewed the potion just a tad bit too strong. But whatever. After a few hours it would wear off and they would not remember any of this session anyway.

"And Stephanie. How do you feel about Chris?" the doctor inquired.

"I'm crazy about him," Steph admitted. "I love him, everything about him. There's this mixture of humor, cockiness, pure talent, and natural good looks that makes him so adorable. I even like it when he insults me... The insults turn me on..."

"I knew it!" Chris exclaimed, crawling over to where Steph was still sitting on her half of the once-whole couch. "I knew my insults drove you crazy!"

"So you two admit that you both love each other then?" Dr. Shuman asked, but by then they were paying no attention to her. They were too busy trading insults in their minds. Their connection was so deep that they could communicate simply with thoughts...

_You're looking like a two dollar slut more than ever now_, Chris thought, staring into Steph's eyes.

_But you made me look this way, you beast_, Steph replied, getting lost in his eyes. _And look at how you're dressed..._

_A Fozzy shirt, some pants. What's wrong with my Fozzy shirt?_

_Are you that forgetful? You're not wearing your Fozzy shirt!_

_Oh yeah... It's on your lap..._

_I'd like to be on _your_ lap_...

Chris smiled and sat down on his end of the couch. _Why don't you come over and take a seat_? he asked mentally, leaning back to get comfortable.

_You might regret this. Once I sit on it, I'm not getting off for a while_, Steph replied, sidling over to him and straddling him. She leaned down to give him a kiss.

_Mmmm, tasty_, he thought in a satisfied voice.

_Hey, no talking when we're kissing,_ she admonished.

_We're not talking, we're thinking,_ he reminded her.

_You won't be thinking once I make you lose your mind..._

_I'd like to see you try, little lady..._

_Oh I will, _big_ guy..._

'And I'll take that as my cue to leave," Dr. Shuman said, more to herself than to the other occupants of the room who seemed to have forgotten that she existed. She pulled out a hidden cassette from her cassette recorder and put it in an envelope. She wrote both their names on it and put the envelope on a table that magically appeared out of nowhere.

All the furniture in front of the door suddenly reappeared back in their rightful places. Dr. Shuman looked around the room satisfied with her work. Then she clicked her glittery red heels together, repeating, "There's no place like home," three times. She started spinning around quickly as if she was caught in a tornado with extremely fast winds. And then she simply disappeared.

Stephanie's eyes snapped open a few hours later. She looked around the room, trying to figure out exactly where she was. _Where the hell am I?_ she thought as she noticed lots of Fozzy posters everywhere. _Must be hell._

Chris woke up lying behind Steph. He vaguely wondered where he was and how he'd gotten there, but found it was impossible to remember._ Hey, Fozzy posters! I'm at the Fozzy Fan Club_, he thought.

_Fozzy Fan Club? How'd we end up here naked_? she wondered.

_Dunno, but we must've been up for quite a while_, he thought.

"Get out of my mind!" Steph exclaimed, hopping up from the couch. "And how can we hear each other's thoughts anyway? Telepathy?"

"Beats me," Chris said with a shrug. _Speaking of beating...damn this morning wood!_

"Morning wood is always a problem for you," she pointed out. "Hell, morning, afternoon, evening..."

He laughed as they got up and got dressed. "Hey, what's this?" he asked, noticing the envelope on the table.

"Has our name on it," she said. She took the liberty of opening it. "A tape."

"Must be a Fozzy mixtape. I'll listen to it in the car," he said.

"Whatever. Tell me how it sounds later," she said.

"Sure, sure," he said.

They exited the room and walked in opposite directions, Chris juggling the tape absently in his hands...


	5. Mall Adventure

_**Mall Adventure**_

"What the hell is wrong with my dad?" Stephanie asked.

"I thought you'd know by now," Chris said. "Vince McMahon is a sick and twisted man..."

"Hell-bent on torturing me by making me shop with you," she finished.

"Remember what happened the _last_ time we went shopping?" he asked with a wink. "You know, in Publix?"

"Yeah, you put my thong on display," she said, punching him on the arm. "I still haven't forgotten that. I _will _get my revenge."

"You've been promising revenge _forever_," he said in an exasperated voice as they reached the upper level of the mall and got off the escalator. "When are you gonna hit me with your best shot?"

"When you least expect it," she said. She looked up and spotted her second favorite store. "Oh Chris, come on!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and leading him to the store.

He saw where they were headed. "Oh no," he said, shaking his head. "I _refuse_ to go in there." He stopped walking and stood perfectly still.

"Pleeeease..."

"Stephanie. No."

She had to switch tactics. She pressed herself against him, looking up into his blue eyes. "I'll make it worth your while," she whispered. She kissed him softly and watched his resolve melt away.

"Yeah, ok," he said, knowing that she had him totally whipped.

"Thanks," she said, heading into Victoria's Secret. "And if you're lucky, I'll model some underwear for you..."

He followed her around closely while she checked out different types of underwear. Eventually she started asking his opinion on her choices.

"Too frilly," he said when she held up a frilly pink thong. "Put it back."

"What about this?" she asked, holding up a basic black thong.

"Too plain," he decided. "How about _that_?"

She picked up the underwear he was pointing at. "Chris, these have _no_ seat," she said incredulously.

"Duh. Easier access for _me_," he pointed out.

"I'm not getting them," she said, putting them down.

"Stephanie. Please." He looked at her with puppy dog eyes and his bottom lip quivered.

She gave in immediately. "You're lucky you're so sexy, Chris," she said.

"I know," he said, smiling. "You can't resist this body, this boyish yet sexy grin, these intense eyes, my _huge_-"

"In the dressing room," she ordered, grabbing his hand and practically running there. "Now."

"Wow, you're kind of aggressive," he said when she pushed him roughly against the wall in the dressing room.

"I know," she said, before kissing him hungrily until they were both breathless. She pulled back and caught her breath. "More later, ok?" Then she walked out, leaving him looking lustfully after her.

"Where to now, Princess?" Chris asked a short while later as they walked around on the second floor.

"Your choice," Steph replied, swinging her Victoria's Secret bag back and forth.

"Then it's off to Spencer's," he said, excited. "It's a playground for kinky freaks like me."

"Oh goody!" she said happily. That was her absolute favorite place in the mall. She decided that this...this was where she was going to get payback for the little stunt Chris had pulled in Publix."

They walked into Spencer's. It was dark and crowded as usual. In the back, neon lights flashed off and on. Some fast music played over the speakers. And of course, there were "kinky freaks" all over the place.

"Now you'd look great in this," Chris said, holding up a shirt in front of her. "See what it says?"

"Turn it around," she directed.

He turned the shirt around and read what it said to her aloud. "I need a hedge clipper to cut my bush!" There was a picture of a bush with hedge clippers coming close to it. "Now Princess, if you don't understand what that means..."

"I understand just fine!" she snapped, punching him in the arm just like she had previously done on the escalator. She walked over to the cards and started looking through them, trying to find one for him.

He hung the shirt back on the rack, laughing. "Hey, don't get all offended," he said with a laugh as he approached her. "I never said it applied to you. I just said you'd look great in it."

"Oh, I'm not offended," she said, smiling sweetly at him. "As a matter of fact, I'm so _not_ offended that I've found the perfect card for you. Here." She handed him the card.

To her surprise, he handed her a card as well. "See, I'm thoughtful, too," he said. "Now we'll both open them on the count of three... One..."

"Two..." Her voice trailed off as she wondered what would pop out at her face when she opened the card.

"Three!" they both said together, and opened the cards.

Stephanie wasn't very surprised when she opened her card and a hairy bush popped out at her. "Can't find the hole?" she read aloud.

Chris nearly jumped out of his skin as a huge penis popped out in his face and grazed his lips. Of course it was just a cardboard cutout but still...it was a _penis_! He wiped his mouth, spat, and coughed as he read what the card said. "Big enough for ya?" He glared at Stephanie as she laughed.

"Wow, Chris, did you like it?" she asked.

"Ha, ha, you're so funny," he said dryly. He put the card back on the rack, still glaring at her. Then he saw something that caught his eye. "Oooh, come over here!" He didn't wait for her to say yes or no. He just grabbed her hand and forced her to follow him.

She followed willingly when she saw where they were headed. It was an underwear display. There were lots of different types of underwear, hilarious underwear, for men and women. She quickly decided that _this_ was how she was going to get her payback and exact her revenge!

"Now when we were in Victoria's Secret, I let you pick out some underwear for me," she said slyly, rubbing his muscular arm. "How about I return the favor?"

He looked at the display before him and wrinkled his nose. "I dunno about that. None of these are really my type," he said. "I wouldn't wear any of these."

She looked at him with pleading puppy dog eyes, the same puppy dog eyes he had used on her earlier in Victoria's Secret. Her bottom lip quivered just as his had once done. He looked at her and knew in his heart that he would never be able to tell her no if she gave him that look.

"Ok, ok," he said. "Go ahead and pick something out for me... But you're paying for it."

"Not a problem," she said. She looked around the rack carefully, checking out every pair of underwear there. Finally, she found a pair that she liked a lot. "Yes!"

"What? You found some? Finally?" he asked. She nodded, hands behind her back, hiding the underwear. "I thought if you didn't find one pair by the end of this hour, I was going to just stand here and go to sleep in the vertical position."

"Vertical position? You mean standing up?" she wondered.

"Yeah, standing up," he said. "That's a convenient position..." he added suggestively. "Against a wall, in a dark place where kinky freaks are free to roam..."

"Let's find the storeroom," she suggested quickly. She clutched the underwear she'd picked out for him in one hand while grabbing his hand with the other.

He followed her willingly, right on her heels. "Damn, Princess, you're mighty horny today," he commented five minutes later as she pushed him against the wall in the storeroom and kissed him just as aggressively as she had kissed him before in the Victoria's Secret dressing room.

"It's you, Chris... You make me this way..." And then she silenced him with a kiss that literally took his breath away...

About an hour later, they were putting their clothes back on when he noticed that he couldn't find his underwear.

"Where's my underwear?" he asked, looking around.

She shrugged. "Gotta be around here somewhere," she said, gesturing around the room. "But there's so much junk... Why don't you just put on the ones I picked out for you?"

"I guess..." He grudgingly slipped on the tight, hot pink boxers that were sure to hug him much too tightly for comfort. On the front, there was a place for him to insert his..._private_ part...and on the back, it said: Frisky! "Where... Why would you pick these?" he asked, struggling to make _it_ fit in the tight little tube.

"To torture you," she answered honestly, knowing that _it_ was much too big to fight in that tube.

Finally, he got the underwear on, then looked around in disbelief. "I can't believe this... Where are my pants?"

"I have no clue," she said again, smiling as he looked around for them. "But I'll tell you what. I'll go buy you a new pair. What size do you wear?"

He told her what size to get him, then started searching around the storeroom for his pants and his underwear...

Stephanie walked out of the storeroom clutching Chris's pants and his underwear under her arm. She wondered why he hadn't noticed her holding them. He'd looked everywhere for them except for right in front of his face! She headed directly over to the cashier and said, "Hey, there's a guy back in your storeroom wearing just his shirt and his underwear. I just thought you should know..."

"Thanks, ma'am. We'll see that he's thrown out _immediately_," the cashier said.

Stephanie smiled. "Good." Then she quickly left the store, knowing that she only had a few minutes to do what she planned to do...

When she returned five minutes later, Chris was standing outside the store, wearing his shirt, the underwear that she'd picked out for him, and his shoes. And that was it. He looked furious.

"That assclown of a cashier kicked me out!" Chris exclaimed when she approached him. "Like I was going to steal something. I could buy the whole damn store if I wanted to!" He looked at her with a questioning look on his face. "And where are the pants?"

"I don't have them," she said simply. "Maybe we should try to just get out of here while looking as discreet as possible."

"Stephanie. Do you _not_ see what I'm wearing?" he asked impatiently. "I can't walk around in public like this!"

"I see what you're wearing, and I think it's _cute_," she said. "Now, if you were a _real_ man, you wouldn't think twice about walking through the mall in your underwear. You'd just do it."

"You doubt that I'm a man?" he asked evenly.

"Well..." She knew that would get to him and work his nerves. It would have that effect on _any_ man.

"Come on, let's get outta here."

"Let's walk by the fountain," she said suddenly as they rode the escalator down to the main floor. "I wanna make a wish."

"Why not?" he asked. People were already staring, pointing, and laughing. A stop by the big fountain wouldn't make any difference for him.

They got off the escalator and walked over to the fountain, where a crowd of talking people were gathered, looking up at something. He looked up to the top of the fountain as well... And that's when he noticed something familiar.

"My boxers!" he exclaimed. "And my pants! How the hell did they get on top of the fountain?"

"Must I really answer that?" she asked with a laugh. "Because I have a feeling you already know that I did that."

"B-but why?" he asked, pouting.

"Payback for your Publix stunt. Did you think I'd forget?" she asked sweetly. He looked appalled. "Revenge is _so_ sweet. I'll meet you in the car... I'm sure you want to gather up your belongings."

He watched her walk away laughing and he couldn't help but smile, too. She was evil and he loved..._liked_...her for it. He had to admit, she had gotten him good. He wasn't going to hate her for playing a trick on him, but he _was_ going to get her back for this. It was embarrassing! He decided to head out to the car behind her, but first he had to climb to the top of the fountain to get his stuff.

"Excuse me, King of the World coming through. Pardon me, excuse me..." He worked his way through the thick crowd of people, then hopped into the icy cold water and waded to the middle where the stone statue stood. He climbed up to the top, then grabbed his shorts and boxers. "Yep, these are mine," he said. He even posed as people pulled out their camera phones and snapped pictures of him. Then he climbed back down.

Once out of the water, he slipped his boxers on over the pink underwear Stephanie had bought him. The pants came next, then the shoes. Then he smiled at the crowd, posed for more pictures, and headed out of the mall, already concocting a new plan to get his revenge on Stephanie...


	6. The Rhyming Cell

_**The Rhyming Cell**_

"Here's the challenge: Chris and Stephanie have to hang out together for approximately six hours, alone in this little room, which is seven feet wide and seven feet long," the announcer, Shawn Michaels said. "But it's not going to be that simple. See, these two have to hang out and actually get along. And if they talk, they have to rhyme. If they don't rhyme, they lose."

"What?" Stephanie asked.

"Chris, how would you answer that if you two were in the prison cell...I mean, The Rhyming Cell right now?" Shawn asked.

"Slut?" Chris said right away.

"Not my first choice, but it rhymes," Shawn said.

"Shawn's paycheck consists of nickels and dimes," Steph said, causing Shawn to give her a withering glare. Chris just laughed. "Like that?" she asked.

"Yes, though I'd prefer that you refrain from discussing my personal business on TV," Shawn said.

"Every WWE wrestler backstage wants to be like me," Chris said. He smiled. "Yeah, I think I got the hang of this now."

"But you're such a slow learner that I can't stop wondering how," Steph put in.

Shawn laughed. "Ok, I think you guys are ready to enter...where's the damn suspenseful music...there it goes... I think you guys are ready to enter...The Rhyming Cell!" He led them to The Rhyming Cell, located in the basement. It was tiny and windowless, and it was pure luck that neither of them was claustrophobic. "Any last words?" Shawn asked.

"I'm always up for a challenge. I'm in it to win it," Steph said.

"Enough talking, I'm ready to begin it!" Chris exclaimed.

"Yeah, these two are ready! Now if you guys get nervous or sick or something like that, remember that there's a camera in there filming everything you say and do," Shawn said. "So just give a signal and we'll let you right out." He began shutting the door when Steph stopped him with a question.

"Whose brilliant plan was this?" Steph wanted to know.

"The creative mastermind, the senior McMahon... Your dad," Shawn answered, then slammed the door shut, locking Chris and Steph inside alone.

"Damn him! My dad..."

"Is the worst guy this world has ever had," Chris finished, trying to rhyme.

"He disgusts me, and so do you," she said, then went and sat in a corner to get away from Chris.

He looked over at her, then went over to the opposite corner. "You know you want me. It's true, it's true."

"Stealing Angle's lines? Now that's pathetic and low."

"But it's obvious that you're into me, though."

Steph had no reply for this. Instead, she looked around the dark room, wondering just where the camera was located, this camera that was supposedly filming everything that they said and did. Not finding a camera, she looked over at Chris, who was sitting over in the opposite corner watching her.

"I wish I had some food. Man, I'd give all my cash," Steph said about an hour later when her stomach started grumbling.

"See, that's your problem, woman. That's why you have that fat ass," Chris replied, giving her an amused look.

"Don't try to go against me, Chris. There's no doubt that you will lose," she warned him.

"Don't try to resist me, Steph. Y2J leaves your insides bruised," he said, and smirked.

Silence... She tried to look away from him and soon found herself tracing the cracks in the wall with her finger. She was just that bored.

"Bored, Princess? I have something that would interest you," Chris piped up from across the room.

"You can't interest me with anything you say or do," she replied, wondering exactly what he had in mind.

"I'm hungry, you're hungry. Why don't we make a human feast?"

"I'm not a cannibal. I don't eat humans, you beast."

He laughed at her. "I didn't mean literally, but let me give you a taste."

"You come over here and I will slap you in the face."

He crawled over to her anyway, knowing that she wouldn't have it in her to slap him in the face. She'd talk shit from across the room, sure. But when it really came down to it, she couldn't resist him. Whenever he got close to her, she went weak in the knees. He knew all of this, which was why he had such a confident look on his face when he crawled over to her.

"Come here, Steph, and let me taste your beautiful lips..." He leaned over her, putting his hands on her hips and looking down at her.

"Move your hands, Chris. Get your paws off my hips!" When he didn't move his hands, she went on. "The cameras are still rolling. Are you crazy as hell or what?"

"Stop pretending for the cameras. You know you want me to do you in the butt!" He snickered at the indignant look on her face.

"In the butt? Now you know I'd never let you go through with that."

"You're up next on the plate. Why don't you come and grip my bat?"

She understood the analogy he had made about the baseball player and the bat. She wanted to smack him for his smartness but the sexy little look on his face melted her insides.

"I swear, Chris, I hate you. You're lucky you look so hot," she said, giving in and touching his chin.

"You know you're falling for me. Stop pretending that you're not!" he exclaimed, just before he leaned down and kissed her...

"This rhyming crap is hard... What do you say we give it a break?" she asked, pulling back to look into his beautiful eyes.

"Sure... And we've got five more hours... Think of all the love we could make!"

Then, neither one even thought about rhyming. Both of them were too intent on seeing who could conquer the other's mouth the fastest. It was like a private game made just for them. Chris hurriedly started to undress her, needing to feel her skin flush against his. She helped him, needing to feel the sensation of their bare skin pressing against each other as well...

"Wow, Vince, you were right," Shawn Michaels said, staring at the TV monitor where Chris and Stephanie were going crazy trying to undress each other.

"What did I tell you?" Vince McMahon, who was standing next to him watching the scene unfold, asked with a smile. "Get those two together alone and clothes just don't last."

"You said that, but I never quite believed it," Shawn said. "I mean, those two are the biggest enemies in the company. They _hate_ each other."

"They _love_ each other," Vince corrected. "And I've made it my job, my goal, my main priority, to put them in uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations where they have to depend on each other just to make them see that they in fact love each other."

"Now, the people at home watching this... What are they going to think?" Shawn asked.

"Oh, they'll think this is part of a new storyline," Vince said nonchalantly. "I'm not worried about it." He looked at the screen and raised his eyebrows at the image of what Chris and Stephanie were doing. "But _that_ I'm worried about. What exactly do you call that position and how the hell did they manage to get like that?"

"No clue," Shawn said. "But maybe it's about time to cut this off and give them some much-needed privacy."

"You're right," Vince said. "I can't show the fans any X-rated material. Pull the plug immediately."

Shawn went and talked to some of the technical guys, who immediately went and pulled the plugs on the camera that was in The Rhyming Cell with Chris and Stephanie.

"Awww!" every wrestling fan in the world cried.

In The Rhyming Cell about four hours later, Chris and Stephanie laid in each other's arms fully clothed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't ever want to leave... This place is perfect for me," Stephanie whispered.

"I wouldn't mind staying..." Chris gulped. "But I _really_ have to pee!"

An alarm clock started buzzing and the next thing they knew, the door to the room was opening.

"Congratulations, you two sex maniacs! You made it in The Rhyming Cell for six hours," Shawn announced. "How do you feel?"

"I feel great," Stephanie said. She and Chris both stood up.

"My bladder needs an escape!" Chris yelled, running past Shawn and heading for the nearest bathroom.

Both Shawn and Stephanie watched Chris darting down the hall, looking for a bathroom.

"He's insane," Shawn commented as Chris hopped down the hall with his hand cupping his manhood through his pants muttering, "It's ok, just hold it in!"

"I think that's why I love him," Stephanie said, watching after him dreamily. Shawn looked at her with wide eyes. She realized what she'd said, then clapped her hands over her mouth. "I mean, that's why I like him. Or hate him. I mean... Ah, fuck it!" She stomped away angrily in the direction opposite of the one Chris had went in.

Shawn stared after them both, then shrugged his shoulders. "Crazy ass lovebirds," he said, shaking his head. "When will they figure it out?"


	7. Rocking Beds In Bedrock

_**Rocking Beds In Bedrock**_

**A/N: Weird, kind of confusing chapter... But read it anyway! LOL!**

"Your father is the spawn of Satan," Chris stated matter-of-factly. "He's a devilish assclown. He's a demon in disguise!"

"As if I didn't know that already," Stephanie groaned. "He's always been that way."

"But I have to admit, despite the fact that he's evil, he's quite a genius," he went on. "I mean, how does he always manage to get us in this position?"

"And what position would _that_ be?" she asked innocently.

"You know, these situations where we're always together and alone with the opportunity to do the most unconventional stuff," he answered.

"Oh, _that_ position," she said, biting her lip.

"Speaking of _positions_, Princess, I still haven't been able to determine which one is your favorite one. On your back, on top, against a wall..." He smirked at her as he counted off all the positions they'd managed to do it in over the past few months.

She glared at him for just an instant as he leaned against the wall near the door they would be entering very soon, but then she smiled sweetly at him. "I love them all, Chris, as long as I'm in them with you."

His mouth dropped. He had _not _been expecting that!

She smiled and patted him on the cheek. "The King of the World. Mr. Larger Than Life... Speechless?" She laughed. "God can take me now. I've accomplished what no other human being ever has... I made Y2J shut the hell _up!_"

"I don't think so," he said, quickly recovering from his momentary loss of words. "You know, sometimes I think-"

"Well _there_ my two celebrity endorsers are!" Vince McMahon said, walking up to the two of them. "Are you ready to go in there and make me proud?"

"Do we have a choice?" Stephanie quipped.

"Most definitely _not_," Vince answered, smiling smugly. "But if you did have a choice, I'm quite positive you'd do this anyway."

"And how do you know that, Junior?" Chris piped up.

"I know things," Vince said mysteriously. He smiled as he began to walk away. "Now make the WWE look good, ok? Or there will be hell to pay." How he could make a threat while smiling was beyond him, but he was glad that he could. It always worked. It was a very effective method of business.

Chris and Stephanie watched Vince walk away with identical looks of admiration on their faces. True, he put them through so much hell, but they had to admire the fact that he could torture them with a smile on his face.

"So, you kids ready?" came a voice from behind them. They both jumped a little, surprised, then turned around to see where the voice came from. It was the owner of the new chain of furniture stores that had recently opened, called _Twizted Dezignz_. The man's name was Fred Fitzgerald, but for some odd reason, he liked to be called F-Squared.

"What exactly are we doing again?" Stephanie asked.

"Ok, here's the skinny. _Twizted Dezignz_ is unveiling a brand new bedroom theme today," F-Squared said. "Would either of you like to take a guess and tell me what theme you think it might be?"

"Look, Junior, we're not kids, and we don't want to play the guessing game," Chris said. "So why don't you just tell us what we have to do and let us get to it, ok?"

"Touchy, touchy," F-Squared admonished.

"Yes, he is," Stephanie agreed, eyes running over Chris's body. "He's just begging for a little spanking, wouldn't you say?"

"If you say so. But back to the assignment," F-Squared said. "The new bedroom theme we're unveiling is based on the cartoon _The Flintstones_, and it's called Bedrock."

"Bedrock?" both Chris and Stephanie repeated.

"Bedrock," F-Squared confirmed, smiling and nodding his head. "Ironic, isn't it? Our new slogan for this room is 'Rocking beds in Bedrock' and we think it's a pretty catchy slogan."

"Yeah, for horny guys like _him_," Stephanie snickered, gesturing at Chris.

"And for filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom-feeding trashbag _hooooes_ like _her_," Chris scoffed, pointing at Stephanie.

"You take that back!" Stephanie spat. "Or I'll-"

"Or you'll _what_, Princess?" Chris taunted. "Raise your hand up to slap me while knowing the whole time that I'll catch your hand, pull you close, and kiss your pretty little lips into submission?" He grinned at her. "And then you'll kiss me back and we'll end up in some dark and obscure corner banging each other's brains out."

Stephanie's mouth dropped open as he said all of that. She glanced at F-Squared, blushing profusely, then looked back at Chris with her mouth still agape.

"Open wide, Princess," Chris teased. "Oh, wait, your mouth's already open. Duh me." At this point, she was absolutely speechless, so he decided to take a recently-used page out of her book. "God can take me now. I've accomplished what no other human being ever has... I made the Princess shut the hell _up!_ Or... Wait a minute. I made her _open_ up... No wait, I can always get her to do that..."

"Um... Er, F-Squared, could you finish telling us what we're needed for, please?" Stephanie asked, finally finding her voice. She glared daggers at Chris and he put his hand over his heart and gasped silently, mouthing, "Oh, you've pierced my heart with your daggers of animosity!" She rolled her eyes at him and he smirked.

"Ok, so here's everything in a nutshell. You two will be staying in this room for one whole night. This room is basically a display window of sorts, and one full wall of the room will be a very durable type of glass that will allow people from the general public to witness your interaction together in the Bedrock environment," F-Squared said in a rushed voice. The interaction so far between Chris and Stephanie, in his opinion, had been quite intimate, so he felt uncomfortable and out of place around them. He continued in that same rushed voice. "Video cameras will film all your activity. We want this idea to sell, and with you two in there promoting it, we're positive it'll be another big hit from _Twizted Dezignz_. Any questions?"

"None. Let's just get this over with," Stephanie said.

"Is that what you say to _all_ your customers?" Chris asked innocently.

"Nope," she replied. "Only you."

"Yeah, I'll bet," he muttered. "But that's not _all_ you say to me, babe."

"Ok then, that's T.M.I... Too much information," F-Squared said. He gestured towards the door they had been standing outside of the whole time, and looked at them. "Go on. Your destiny awaits."

Stephanie cautiously opened the door to Bedrock and stepped inside. Chris followed, one step behind. They both looked around at the place where they would be spending the night together. In short, it was a pretty well-decorated room. It had all the furniture a regular bedroom would have while still managing to resemble the furniture on _The Flintstones_. The only weird thing that kind of stood out was the mannequin standing near the window. It was a female mannequin, but why was there a mannequin in the room anyway? Chris made a mental note to make use of the mannequin later. After all, he was still plotting his revenge for the little stunt Stephanie had pulled the last time they'd gone shopping at the mall...

"So what do you think?" F-Squared asked.

"Not too shabby," Stephanie commented.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice, considering the fact that it's from the Stone Age," Chris teased. He looked at Stephanie. "I have an idea. How about you be Wilma and I be Fred?"

"I have an even better idea. How about you be Barney Rubble?" she suggested. "You guys are very similar, after all."

"How so? I have muscles and longer hair, and overall I'm just a sexy beast," he pointed out.

She eyed him critically. "True," she said finally. "But you're similar to Barney because, well, you're both the same height." She smiled big at the look on his face. "Burn!" she exclaimed triumphantly.

"I'll just be leaving you two now," F-Squared said, feeling like he was once again caught in one of their intimate moments. He felt like an intruder, an outsider looking in, as did most people when they were around those two. Neither of them noticed when he slipped quietly out of the room, locking them inside together at the process.

"Oh, I'll show you a _burn_ before this night is over, Stephanie," Chris said, saying her full first name. Whenever he did that, he meant business.

"Really, _Christopher_? A burn?" Stephanie taunted. "You mean you have an STD?"

"Nope. You're gonna get a _carpet _burn on that perfect little back of yours when I take you on the floor," he said, grinning at her.

"What_ever_," she said, rolling her eyes. Lord, the images that gave her in her head!

He looked around and noticed for the first time that F-Squared was no longer in the room. "Well," he said. "I guess it's just me and you..."

"And all those people outside the window," she reminded him. pointing at said window, which currently had curtains drawn over it. "But, of course, those people won't be seeing us for a few more minutes."

"What do you suggest we do to pass the time?" he asked slyly, licking his lips and stepping up close to her.

"I suggest that we..." She angled her head and leaned in closer to him, until her lips were an inch away. "I suggest that we get you out of this hideous outfit you're wearing."

"Hey! My outfit is not _hideous_," he protested, looking down at himself. "I look hot and you know it."

"Right. You're a hot _mess_," she agreed, stepping away from him and laughing. She walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. She wasn't very surprised to find some clothes in there that looked just like they came from _The Flintstones_. "I guess this room was made with Fred and Wilma in mind," she said as she looked through the wardrobe.

"So _you_ should be Wilma and let _me_ be Fred, just like I said the first time," he said, walking over to the wardrobe and standing next to her.

"But Fred and Wilma are married," she said. "We can't be them..."

"We can be husband and wife for one night," he said seriously, looking at her intently. "We can be them."

"Ok. So I'm your wife...for tonight," she said softly, looking shyly at him.

"And I'm your husband," he said, conveniently leaving out the "for tonight" part.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither of them moving or talking, until suddenly the door opened. They both turned to look over at the door, and it was F-Squared. "Ok, guys, I suggest that you change your clothes now if you plan on changing them, because the curtains will be opened in approximately five minutes," he said. "And for your information, there's a bathroom over there near the corner and there aren't any video cameras in there. Also, if you need to contact us for any reason, just hit the red button over there." He pointed at a red button on the wall next to the bathroom door.

"Thanks for the info... Now can you _leave_ so my _wife_ and I can get dressed?" Chris asked.

"Your wife?" F-Squared asked, confused. "But I thought-"

"Well you thought wrong, Junior. Now, excuse yourself," Chris said, telling the man in not-so-many words to get out. The man took the hint and left.

"Chris! You're so mean!" Stephanie said, grabbing a white dress from the wardrobe. Wilma Flintstone always wore a white dress and some pearls, so she had decided that she would, too.

"The name is Fred. Fred Flintstone," Chris joked, grabbing his attire for the night from the wardrobe. He eyed his outfit and frowned. "Ok, is this a dress or something?" he asked.

"Just shut up and put it on."

"Is that any way to talk to your husband?"

They looked at each other, and she rolled her eyes. They both stripped quickly and put on their clothes, and then it was time for the curtains to be pulled back.

"So... What position do you want the people to find us in?" he asked.

"None," she answered, sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed. "I mean, we might be pretending to be a married couple, but we're not."

"Tonight we are," he said, getting serious again. "Tonight I'm yours and you're mine...and we're going to be rocking beds in Bedrock, just like their slogan says..."

Before she had the chance to reply, the curtains went back, revealing them to the crowd waiting outside. It was obvious, just by looking at the signs the people were holding, that these were a mixture of wrestling fans and Fozzy fans. They were all yelling their heads off, and Chris and Stephanie were both extremely happy that the window was soundproof. They walked over to the window and waved at the fans, who waved eagerly back.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Stephanie asked, looking first at the fans outside the window, then at her husband for the night.

"I think we're supposed to kiss now," Chris teased, grinning impishly at her.

"No, really," she said. "We want these people to purchase this furniture. How do we promote it?"

"We christen the bed," he said simply.

"You just wanna get laid," she accused him.

"And what's so wrong with that?" he asked innocently.

"We're being watched and taped, or have you forgotten?" she reminded him.

"So? We were being watched and taped in The Rhyming Cell, too," he countered. "Or have _you _forgotten?"

"Oh, shut up, Fred," she sighed, sitting back down on the edge of the bed again.

"Fine, Wilma," he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her and sighing, also. "Anything to satisfy my beautiful wife."

They sat on the edge of the bed next to each other, not saying a single word. The room was silent, and the fans stood outside the window watching them, wondering when they were going to start arguing and trading their usual verbal insults. That time never came. They just sat there, not moving, just staring off into space. And then suddenly the silence was just too much.

"Hey, Fred?"

"Hmmm?"

"Go hit that red button."

"What for?"

"Just do it."

"Fine."

Chris stood up and went over to the wall by the bathroom. He hit the red button, and immediately a voice they recognized as F-Squared came on over an intercom they never even knew existed. "Are we having problems?" he asked.

"We would like for you to close the curtains for the night," Stephanie requested. Chris looked at her with raised eyebrows, wondering why she was requesting that they close the curtains for the night. She had certainly not mentioned those intentions to him.

"That wasn't part of the endorsement deal," F-Squared protested.

"Unless you want to get in trouble for showing some very hot action to the public, you better close these curtains and turn off the cameras," Stephanie said calmly, standing up and pulling down the strap to her dress. Chris just looked on in wonder, now forming some semblance of an idea as to what she had planned.

"Fine," F-Squared said, giving in. "But in a couple of hours, we're going to need to reopen those curtains."

"That's fine," Stephanie said. "But for now we need them closed."

The curtains closed right away, and Chris walked over to Stephanie. "Now just what do you think you're doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"What does it look like?" she asked, taking the dress off and letting it fall to her feet.

"Looks like Wilma's feeling a little horny," he said, grinning at her. "But you know what?" he went on, stepping closer to her.

"What?"

"Fred's feeling kind of horny, too...

In seconds, they were over on the bed. It was always like that for them, always joking and teasing with each other until they both reached their breaking points. It was all in good fun, really...

She looked up at him as he hovered over her in the bed a few short minutes later. "Don't call me Wilma tonight," she whispered. "I'm Stephanie...and I'm yours."

"I'm yours, too," he whispered back, no traces of playfulness in his voice. "And I think you already know I'm not Fred." The atmosphere had changed just like that...

About an hour later after they had finished _rocking beds in Bedrock_, she drifted off to sleep in his arms. He carefully got up, trying his hardest not to wake her up. He didn't. He tiptoed around the room, gathering up Stephanie's undergarments from where she'd discarded them on the floor in her frenzy to get undressed. Then he headed straight for that mannequin he'd spotted when they'd first entered the room... Yep, the fans were going to see her underwear and there wasn't going to be a thing she could do about it...

He slipped back into bed and got back in the same position he'd been in before, with her wrapped in his arms. _Well, this is comfortable_, he thought to himself. He took one last look at the sleeping woman beside him, then closed his eyes and attempted to go to sleep...

**15 Minutes Later**

"Chris." Stephanie shook his arm lightly, trying to wake him up. She had something on her mind. She'd had this on her mind for months, and she had to say something about it before it killed her. "Chris."

"Hmmm?" Chris answered, opening his eyes. He hadn't been sleep; he'd been close but not exactly all the way there. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing, everything's perfect," she said slowly. "I just want to tell you something."

"I was great tonight? Thanks, you were, too," he joked, yawning.

"No, not that. I mean, you were, but not that," she said in a serious voice.

"Ok, you sound really serious... What is it?" he asked curiously.

It was now or never. She had to say it, and if he didn't feel the same way then in the morning when they woke up, she would say it was just the sleep talking... "Chris, I love you."

_WHAT?_ his mind screamed. She LOVED him? She LOVED him! What was he supposed to say? He couldn't just lie to her, and he had to say something, right? So he spoke the truth, surprising even himself. "Steph... I love you, too."

"I know," she whispered, closing her eyes.

He pulled her closer to him and closed his eyes, too.

They both fell asleep...

**A/N: Ok, this chapter started off the way that I wanted it to, with the usual insults and whatnot. The ending? Totally not what I had planned, but I figured they had to confess sooner or later. I think I lost my touch for this story. The previous chapters were funnier, I think... Writer's block sucks! Please review, and don't be afraid to tell me how much this chapter sucked!**


	8. The Ferris Wheel

_**The Ferris Wheel**_

"Do you have any idea what your dad was thinking when he set this up?" Chris asked, hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"Yes, the usual," Steph said in a low voice. "Torture." She was sad. Their conversations always started off about her dad and how crazy he was with his wacky schemes. She agreed, but for once could they start off another way?

Chris remained silent as they walked side by side. It was a cold night, and Vince McMahon had ordered them to go to the huge county fair. He was glad to be able to spend some quality time with Steph and he wondered if she felt the same way...

Ever since their whole deal with promoting the new "Bedrock" line at _Twizted Dezignz_... Ever since that night when they had both said those three words to each other... Things just hadn't been the same. They had both just pretended that they hadn't said those three words to each other, both intent on forgetting. Saying those words had just made things horribly complicated, so they had both chosen to deny it all and forget. But, in the back of their minds, neither one could really forget about it...

"Oh, Chris, let's go on the carousel!" Steph said, excited. Her sadness was quickly forgotten when she spotted the carousel a few feet away.

"With the ponies?" Chris asked incredulously.

"Yes, come on," she said. She placed her hand in his and led him over to the carousel, despite his heavy protesting, and pretty soon they were riding around on matching fake ponies on the carousel. The ponies were going up and down periodically. "The look on your face is priceless," she said with a small laugh.

"Laugh it up, sweetie," he said with a grin. "Laugh it up."

"You don't have to tell me twice," she said, then laughed even more.

"You won't be laughing so much when we're in the bumper cars next," he said. Her laughter slowly died as he went on. "I'm going to bang you _hard_ every chance that I get." She raised her eyebrow at him. "And I mean that any way you wanna take it."

They finished the carousel ride in a sedated silence. When they got off the carousel, Chris led the way to the bumper cars. He got in one bumper car and Stephanie got in another one nearby.

"Think you can keep up with me, Princess?" he asked her before they got started.

"Maybe I should be asking _you_ that question," she said, then took off going as fast as her little car could go. She bumped into him so hard that they both bounced backwards.

"You'll pay dearly for that, Little Miss Stephanie," he promised, an evil grin showing up on his even features. "You will pay." And then he took off at full speed, chasing her around the place in his bumper car.

"You'll never catch me, blondie!" she yelled, wittily maneuvering her car around the space that was before her. "I'm too fast for you!"

"You think so?" he asked.

"I _know_ so," she replied.

"You know, you're probably right," he admitted.

She stopped where she was. "What? You're admitting that you're _wrong_ about something?"

"Never!" he exclaimed, then slammed into her car as hard as he could. "Got you!"

"Loser!" she snarled, and took off after him as fast as she could go. "You wait until I get my hands on you!"

"What are you going to do?" he taunted. "Cop a feel?"

"Probably," she admitted, causing him to stop moving this time.

"Seriously?" he asked, looking at her. "Because I was just kidding."

"So was I!" she said, ramming into his car and causing it to start moving again. She smiled triumphantly at the look of surprise on his face.

"I'm gonna get you, Stephanie," he said. A determined look washed over his face as he started chasing after her yet again...

"Tired, Chrissy-baby?" Stephanie asked a short while later. They were done playing around with the bumper cars. He was leaning against the wall, breathing fast.

"When did you get the ability to wear me out?" he asked breathlessly.

"What can I say? I'm just that damn good!" she exclaimed, sounding so much like her husband.

This did not go by without catching his attention. He looked up at her sharply. "Quoting your husband these days, I see," he said in a low voice.

"Did I?" she asked. She thought back to what she had said a minute before. "Oh," she said. "Sorry."

"No, it's cool," he said with a sigh. "So where to next?"

"Your choice," she replied.

"But I chose the bumper cars, so it's _your_ turn," he pointed out.

"I want to go on the Ferris Wheel, but can we please save that for last?" she asked.

"Sure. Since you don't want to pick, I have an idea of what we should do next," he said.

"What?" she asked curiously.

"Come on," he said mysteriously, taking her hand and leading her over to the first booth he saw. He pointed at a wall full of teddy bears. "Which one do you want me to win for you, Princess? That one?" He pointed at the biggest one of all.

"How about that one?" she asked, pointing over to a cute little brown bear with startling blue eyes.

"Sure," he said. He had to play a weird little game where he had to shoot down some ducks that were moving on the wall. Not surprisingly, he shot down all the ducks. He had great aim.

"Which one do you want?" the man behind the booth asked Stephanie.

"That one," she said, pointing at the bear she had pointed out to Chris a short time before. The man handed her the teddy bear and she hugged it. "Thanks, Chris," she said, and hugged him, too.

"Um, you're welcome," he replied, hugging her back. "But out of curiosity, why'd you choose that particular one?"

"It has your eyes," she replied, pulling back. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

They went and had something quick to eat, and the next thing they knew, they were in line to get into the Haunted House.

"Think this is gonna be scary?" Stephanie asked, clutching the bear Chris had won for her, which she had affectionately named Keith (_his_ middle name).

"No way," Chris scoffed. "Everything's fake."

"That man's looking at us weird," she said, nodding her head toward the entrance.

Chris looked over at the man. He was wearing all black. He had on shades and a hat, and though he looked vaguely familiar, Chris couldn't figure out just who he resembled. "He probably just recognizes us from TV or something."

"I don't know," she said, sounding a little worried. "Isn't it weird that he's wearing shades and it's not even sunny out?"

He put an arm around her. "Just chill out. You worry too much!"

Pretty soon, they were sitting side by side in a seat made for two. The seat began to move forward as the tour of the house began. Stephanie clutched Keith tightly to her. Chris put his arm around her to comfort her and held her hand with his free hand.

"What are you so scared of?" he whispered into her ear.

"Everything," she admitted. "And I don't know why."

"There's nothing to be scared of... Well, except maybe _that_," he said, pointing over at something near her.

She glanced over in the direction he had pointed and screamed. "Tell me that isn't real!"

"It's fake," he assured her. He leaned over to touch the huge, hairy spider that had dropped down on her shoulder. "See?"

"Right," she said, feeling stupid. "Of course it's fake. There's no way a spider could be that big." But the feeling of the spider on her shoulder, no matter how fake it was, still creeped her out, and she found herself leaning closer to him.

"Oh, check _that_ out," he said in an amazed voice. "A headless wrestler display. Now what are the odds of seeing one of those at a normal county fair?"

"Pretty high if it's one my dad sends us to," she said, looking over at the display. "Hey, whose body is that?"

He looked over at where she was pointing. "Looks like my body. Can't you tell?"

"I already knew that was your body. I was talking about the one sitting on your lap," she said, rolling her eyes. "Pinch me if that's not _my_ body."

He grinned. "Yeah, that's your body... On top of mine..."

"What the hell is this?" she asked when the bodies started moving and their ride stopped.

"I don't know," he said, watching the bodies with interest. "But those replicas of our bodies have the right idea."

She looked over at him and saw the devilish glint in his eye. "What do you have in mind, Chris?"

"Oh, I'm sure you already know," he answered with a smirk. "This ride isn't going anywhere, we're alone, two mannequins over there are doing the nasty... What do you think I have in mind?"

She licked her lips and smiled. "I think I know..."

He pressed his lips against hers and no more words were spoken...

Quite a while later, their seats started to move again, taking them on a very fast tour of the rest of the place. They ended up where they had started soon afterwards. They stepped back out into the night and both smiled and welcomed the cool air since they were both so _very_ hot.

"I think we have time for just one more ride," Chris said, looking her over to make sure all her clothes were in place.

"One more ride? So that last ride I took on you back there wasn't enough?" Stephanie asked, looking him over as well. She clutched Keith in her arms and smiled up at Chris.

"You know I'll never get enough of you," he said. "But seriously, I think we have time for only one more ride. Didn't you say you wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel?"

"Absolutely. Let's _do it_," she said, grabbing his hand and starting to lead him over to the Ferris Wheel.

"I think we did just _do it_," he said. He looked at her. "I wonder why our seats just happened to stop in that particular room?"

"I wonder why no one else was in there with us?" she countered.

"I'm willing to bet that your dad played a distinct role in this. He's always doing stuff to torture us," he said, but he didn't sound angry about it.

"It's nearly deserted," she said quietly, looking around the place when they reached the Ferris Wheel. There were only a few other people milling about. In all truth, it had gotten even colder than it had been when they'd first arrived. The temperature had dropped a couple degrees, but those few degrees had made a definite difference.

"Well that's awesome. No long lines to wait in," he said. "Come on."

They stepped up to the man who was taking tickets and operating the ride. He took their tickets and showed them where to sit at. They sat down in their seats and got properly buckled in. When they were buckled in, the man who was taking tickets went over to the other people and let some other people get on as well.

"Wow. Lot's of couples are here to go on a romantic little ride. Look at them," Chris said, looking at all the couples around them.

"Yeah," Stephanie said wistfully. "It's really too bad..."

"Huh? What's too bad?" he asked, looking at her.

"It's too bad that... Hey, look, isn't that the guy from who we saw at the Haunted House?" she asked, getting distracted.

He looked in the direction she was looking in. There he was, that same guy that looked so familiar, wearing the dark shades. the hat, and the dark clothes. He was talking to the guy who had taken their tickets and it seemed like he was pointing at him. "Yep, that's him."

"You think he's following us?"

"I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

"If you say so."

"I do."

The Ferris Wheel started slowly, and Stephanie smiled. Chris smiled, too, but neither one could say exactly why they were smiling... They just were.

They reached the top after about a minute and she sighed. "This is so romantic," she said dreamily. "Or... It _would_ be romantic if we were...in love...or whatever."

"Yeah, then it would be really romantic," he agreed as they kept going around. He discreetly put his arm around her shoulders and was surprised when she leaned against him. It was a good feeling, though.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," she said. "And the moon is so clear... The only thing I would change would be the fact that it's practically freezing out here."

"I'm so hot, I could keep you warm," he cracked as they reached the bottom again. He waited for her reply but didn't get one. "Something wrong?"

"It's that man again. Look at him," she said, pointing. "I think he's looking at us."

He looked over at where she was pointing. "Ok, what the hell is this? This is getting kind of creepy."

"Oh, and this from the one who said it was just a coincidence," she said sarcastically, looking at him.

"That was _before_ I saw that sign he's holding," he said in a tight voice as they started going back up. "Look."

"Have fun at the top," she read slowly. She looked at Chris. "What do you think he means?"

"Don't know, but he's waving at us," he said, looking confused. "This is just really weird."

"Know what's even more weird?" she asked. He raised his eyebrow. "The fact that we're now at the very top of the Ferris Wheel and we're no longer moving."

"_Have fun at the top_... That's what he meant!" he said, slapping himself. "How could I have been so oblivious to the fact that _this_ was what he meant!"

"I didn't exactly get it either," she pointed out.

"No one would've expected _you _to, Ice Princess."

"And what's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me stupid?"

"No, no," he said, realizing his mistake. "What I meant was I'm the King of the World. People expect me to realize things before other people do. I'm not the common person, you know."

"You're calling me common now, too?"

"Steph, that's not what I meant. You know I-"

"Shut up, Chris. I've had enough of you for one night."

He knew better than to keep talking when she was in one of her little moods, so he just closed his mouth and looked the other way. _Looks like I've screwed up again. Way to go_, he thought. _And now we're stuck. Unbelievable... Who was that man?_

**An hour later...**

"I'm so c-c-cold," Stephanie said, shivering. "And it just keeps getting colder."

"Guess you really are the Ice Princess now," Chris cracked. He smiled to himself, even though his lips were freezing. _She's finally speaking to me again_, he thought happily.

"Now is n-n-not the t-t-time for jokes," she said. "We've been up here f-f-for, like, an hour. We're g-g-gonna freeze to d-d-death..."

"N-n-nonsense," he said, trying to reassure her even though he wasn't so sure himself. "We're not going to freeze to d-d-death."

"How do you know?" she asked, looking out into the darkness.

"I just have a feeling," he said, looking out into the darkness as well. He looked up and his gaze stopped on one star shining brightly in the sky. "Speaking of feelings, Steph, there's something I need to get off my chest, just in case..."

"Just in case _what_?" she asked in a shrill voice.

"Just in case we don't make it off this Ferris Wheel," he said quietly.

"Don't talk like that," she said quickly, trying to reassure him. It was funny how the tables had turned in such a short amount of time. "We'll make it off of here."

"But just in case... You need to know how I really feel about you," he said. He looked down into her eyes.

"You hate me," she said, staring into his eyes. "That's been obvious for a very long time."

"Far from it," he said. "That night back during that whole Bedrock thing...when we said..." He didn't know where to start. "Steph... I... You just don't know how long I've been feeling this way about you."

"How do you feel?" she asked. She was trying not to feel too excited but she couldn't help it. Was he going to admit that he..._loved_ her?

"God, I don't know how you _don't _know, but I really..." His voice trailed off as he suddenly kissed her, pressing his cold lips against hers. He pulled back, taking ragged breaths as he touched her face. "I'm _so _in lo-"

Suddenly the Ferris Wheel started moving extremely fast, and before they knew it, they were at the bottom again. They sat there staring at each other.

"Go on, Chris. What were you going to say to me?" Stephanie prodded, touching his lips with one finger.

"We're at the bottom! We're not gonna die!" he exclaimed happily. He started working with the belts that held them strapped in the seat. "Let's get the hell out of here!"

"Don't you have...something to say to me?" she asked softly.

"Um... It can wait," he said quickly, helping her out of the seat. "Let's just go before something else weird happens to us."

"Ok." She grabbed Keith (the teddy bear) and hugged it tightly against her as they quickly made their exit.

Neither of them noticed the man who had been following them the whole time watching them leave. The man pulled his cell phone out and dialed a number.

_"This better be good."_

"It didn't work."

_"What the hell do you mean it didn't work? They didn't confess their true feelings up there?"_

"I think we brought them down too soon."

_"Too fast? They were up there for more than an hour! How could you screw this up?"_

"I'm sorry, boss. I have a plan, though."

_"Care to expand on that?"_

"Yeah... Let them figure it out by themselves."

_"That's the worst piece of bullshit I've ever, eeeeever heard in my entire life. I know my daughter, and I know Chris. They're too stubborn to admit it by themselves."_

"You never know."

_"Fine. But if I don't see any significant changes in their relationship in the next week or so, I'm going on with my next plan."_

"Sorry it didn't work out this time, boss."

_"It's ok, Bischoff..."_

"Really?"

_"Really... But next time it better work."_

**A/N: Sorry it's so long... I've been working on this off and on for a while. It's not as funny as other ones have been, but oh well...**


	9. The Truth

_**The Truth**_

Stephanie sat in her hotel suite, kicking absently at the carpeted floor. She was in another city in another state, and at the moment she wouldn't have been able to come up with the name of her location had someone asked her. She was too preoccupied and she had been for the last full week, ever since the night she and Chris had gotten stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel. She had been wondering what he had been about to say to her before the Ferris Wheel had suddenly started moving again. For some reason, it was worrying her sick, consuming her mind as she wondered what confession he had been on the verge of making.

She wanted to go find him and force him to tell her what he'd been about to say, but for some reason she decided not to. She just couldn't approach him and ask him what he'd been about to say, because she had no clue how she'd go about approaching him and accomplishing that task. Her dad wasn't making things any easier for her, because he hadn't paired her and Chris up for anything else since the whole Ferris Wheel incident. She wanted to call her dad and _demand_ to know why the hell he wasn't forcing her to do any crazy things with Chris like he usually did, but she couldn't do it, because then she would sound desperate.

"Basically, I'm stuck," she said grumpily, and she kicked at the carpet once again.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. She looked over at the clock and her brows furrowed as she stood up. _It's past eleven at night. Who the hell could that be?_ she wondered, heading for the door.

Chris.

"God, what if it's him?" she asked herself. "I must look like a mess!" She hurried over to the mirror and made sure she looked ok, then headed for the door once again. Once there, she smoothed her hands over her short skirt, then opened the door. "Why, I thought you'd _never_..." Her voice trailed off when she realized she wasn't talking to Chris after all. "Who the hell are you, and why are you at my door so late?"

The thin man in front of her shifted nervously on his feet. "I work here at the hotel, and one of your...friends...requested that I bring you these." He produced a simple bell and a sign from behind his back, then handed them to her.

"Who the hell sent this?" she asked curiously.

The man looked to his left uncomfortably and gulped, then nodded and pulled out a card and began reading. "Hey there, Princess! Guess who? I figured you could use this bell and this sign since, you know, you're a lady of the night. The bell should let you know when you have another customer waiting in line, and the sign... Well, you can hang that on your door when your bed is occupied, if you know what I mean. Take a look at the sign." The man paused and looked warily at Stephanie, then looked pointedly at the sign in her hand. "He wants you to look at the sign."

Frowning, Stephanie studied the sign. It resembled the signs that were usually hung in some stores, signifying whether they were open or closed. On one side, it read, "Welcome! My legs are OPEN!" On the other side, it read, "Sorry! As unbelievable as it sounds, my legs are CLOSED!" She looked at the man in front of her and opened her mouth to speak, but he started to read from the card again.

"No need to say thanks, Stephy-baby. After all, you _are_ my most favorite...filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky bottom-feeding trash-bag ho," the man finished in a rushed voice. He gulped as he looked at Stephanie and braced himself to get yelled at. "God, I'm going to lose my job over this," he muttered to himself.

"What the hell... Who wrote that?" Stephanie sputtered, blushing furiously, although she already had an idea of who had done it. It made her a bit angry, yes, but it also made her want to smile because at least he was thinking of her... She noticed the man standing there staring blankly at her, and she frowned at him. "Is there a signature on there?" she asked. He nodded wordlessly. "Well? What's it signed?"

"It says-" the man began, but he was interrupted as Chris Jericho appeared from the left of the door with one hand behind his back.

"I'll take it from here, Junior. Run along now, and I'll make sure you keep your job," Chris said, grabbing the card out of the man's hand. The man smiled gratefully before practically running away, and Chris turned to look at Stephanie. "Curious about the way I signed the card, are you?" he asked with a smirk.

Stephanie nearly melted from his gaze, but she made her expression hard. "Actually, no," she lied, holding her chin up. "I just wanted to know what kind of assclown would send me some crap like this, but now I know."

"I'm offended that you didn't realize who it was when you heard the first few lines of the card," he said, his smirk fading away. "But then again, I guess you don't really know that much about me."

"I'm afraid I know _too_ much about you," she countered, rolling her eyes at him. "But not the things I need to know, like what you were trying to tell me the other night on the Ferris Wheel."

He looked down for a minute, then back at her. "Here," he said, pulling out a single red rose from behind his back. He held it out, along with the card the man had been reading from. "And take this, too."

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, accepting the rose and the card, then looking curiously at him. "And what were you trying to tell me that night?" It seemed as if his entire attitude had changed when she mentioned what he'd been about to say on the Ferris Wheel, and she wanted to know why.

"It's all in the signature," he said simply, beginning to walk away, no longer in his playful mood.

This change in his attitude worried her because it was so very uncharacteristic of him, and she could only stand there in silence and watch him go. When he disappeared into the elevator, she went into her room, shut and locked the door, and walked over to the couch. Once she sat down, she read the card, and when she got to the signature, her perfectly arched eyebrows nearly flew off her face.

"Wow," she whispered to herself. "He signed it...like...wow."

She had to see him.

She got up and grabbed her card key, and she was out the door in a flash. She got outside of her room and was on her way to the elevator when she realized there was one thing she didn't know, and if she didn't know this one little detail, she'd never find him...

She didn't know where his room was.

"Of all the bad luck!" she muttered, jogging (or doing something that remotely resembled jogging, since she was wearing high heels) to the elevator. She waited impatiently for the elevator, and soon she was on her way down to the lobby so she could find out where his hotel room was.

When Stephanie reached the lobby, she stepped out of the elevator and hurried over to the front desk. "Hey, you," she said breathlessly to the man standing behind the desk. "I need you to tell me what room someone's staying in."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't give out that type of information," the man said apologetically.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you know who I am?" she asked testily.

"Nope, I can't say that I do," he said, shaking his head. "Why? Am I _supposed _to know who you are?"

"I am Stephanie _McMahon_!" she exclaimed, hoping that he would recognize her name. "I'm The Billion Dollar Princess, the future owner of the WWE, and I demand that you tell me what room Chris Jericho is staying in!"

"No, see, I'm not losing _my_ job over this," he said, still shaking his head. "You could be one of a million crazed Jerichoholics out there who just want to get a piece of Y2J..."

"So let me get this straight. You know who Chris Jericho is, but you have no clue who the hell _I _am?" she asked.

"That would be correct," he said, nodding at her.

"I've been in storylines with him, and you don't recognize me? My dad owns the WWE, and you don't know who the hell I am?" He shook his head. "What's your supervisor's name?" she asked angrily. She was pissed now. Was he just giving her a hard time, or did he seriously not know who she was?

"I don't think there's any need for you to involve his supervisor," came a familiar voice from behind her.

She turned around and was face to face with Chris for the second time in one night. Her anger at the unhelpful worker disappeared immediately, and before she even realized what she was doing, she put her arms around him and hugged him tight, never wanting to let go. "Chris," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "I can't believe you-"

"Not here, Princess," he interrupted, hugging her back and quickly letting her go. "Anyone could see us here. Let's go up to my room...or yours."

"Which is closer?" she asked as they headed for the elevator.

"Mine," he said, and he stopped walking to look over his shoulder at the guy who was still standing behind the desk. "Thanks, Jeremy. I owe you."

"No prob," the guy said, winking at him.

"Jeremy? You know that guy?" Stephanie asked, surprised.

"Jeremy and I are good friends. We go way back," Chris explained as he and Stephanie walked over and stepped into the elevator. The doors closed and he looked at her. "I knew you'd probably come looking for me down there, so I asked him to pretend that he didn't know who you were."

"You and your games," she said with a sigh, leaning in the corner and gazing at him.

He leaned against the wall and looked back at her, and then he smirked. "You just couldn't stay away from this sexy beast, could you?"

"Guess not," she admitted quietly as the elevator stopped. She was surprised when they stepped out together and he reached for her hand, but she placed her hand in his nonetheless and smiled at the sudden warmth she felt. They walked hand-in-hand down the hallway in silence, stopping in front of his room door. He opened the door and let her go inside first, then looked around and followed her in and shut the door.

"So I guess you read how I signed the card," he said, sitting his card key down on a small table and walking over to the couch. He looked up at her as she walked over and stood in front of him.

"Yeah," she said softly, sitting down next to him. She touched his arm. "You signed it 'Love, Chris'."

"I did, didn't I?" he asked, smiling a little at her, then looking away.

"So that's what you were going to tell me on the Ferris Wheel that night?" she asked, awed. She'd already figured that he was probably going to say that, but she had wanted to be sure, and now she was sure. He nodded in response to her question, and she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "You don't know how long I've waited for you to tell me that," she whispered, leaning against him.

"I've told you before, haven't I? Back when we did that whole endorsement thing for _Twizted Dezignz_," he reminded her, putting an arm around her. "Remember that night in Bedrock?"

"Of course I remember that night, but then we decided that we didn't really mean it because it complicated things between us," she pointed out. "So when we decided that we didn't mean it, I just assumed that you really...didn't mean it."

"I said it, yeah, but that doesn't mean that I didn't actually mean it," he said, making her look at him before he went on. "Because I did mean it...I _do_ mean it. I love you, Steph... I really do," he said sincerely, and his voice shook a little.

"I love you, too," she whispered, gazing into his eyes as she touched his face. "And I don't know when it happened, but it happened, and I can't help it."

"I can't either, but I wouldn't change it for anything," he whispered back, right before he leaned down to kiss her softly. A minute later, he pulled back and smirked at her. "Now I want you to get out."

"What?" she asked incredulously, searching his face for some hint that he was joking, but she found none. "You're serious?"

"Totally," he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet. He smiled at the look on her face before scooping her up into his arms. "I mean it. I want you to get out...of these clothes."

She relaxed and smiled at him, then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. "I'm glad that's what you meant, because I'm not leaving this room tonight..."

"Good, because I'm not letting you," he informed her. "Tonight, you're all mine..."

They looked at each other for a minute, and then they both laughed and he carried her into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them...

**A/N: Just had an idea and decided to update. Hope it was interesting enough for you guys...**


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